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March 2024 Thoughts

Saturday 2

16:36

It feels like it has been so long since I wrote anything here. My new job has been rough, but it has had the side effect that I've been having a more healthy lifestyle.

I'm waking up at 7 am and going to sleep around 10:30 pm. I'm eating fruit at breakfast because it wakes me up, I've been walking around 1 hour each day on my way and back from work. I found out that by grabbing the bus' metal bars on my way to work and pushing down I can exercise my arms (30 minutes a day!).

My coworkers still make me unconfortable, but it's cool that they have more to say apart of talking about women and minorities like aliens. Like, I really hate a lot about them, but I also like some of the aspects they have.

I've also been figuring out how to take less time while cooking. And I've been practicing music around 5 times a week (in half-hour sessions). It's really tiring to do so, getting home at 8pm, having to immediately cook and then force myself to practice music.

But I have the goal of 100 sessions, and then hopefully be good enough so it's easier to make music for my projects.

On another note, the walks on my way to work have become my favorite part of the day. There are so many little cool things happening, curious dogs, the sky is really cool in the morning, I really like it.

Oh! I also found an album I really like! It is called "Wanna Come Bake Cookies Together?" by Tim - The Little Music Fox. "Meeting a Friend" is my favourite song from the album, it reminds me of a friend I love very much.

I bought some things from Mercado Libre to celebrate my first paycheck and they arrive today. I felt like a rich person when I bought $20.000 CLP (around 20 usd) worth of stuff, then the next day my coworkers started talking about a guy whose manager's driving permit costs $3.200.000 XD I guess I don't need a lot of things to be happy, I bought some funnels for the kitchen, a garlic crusher, and some stuff for my fountain pen!

Now I'm trying to do activities to recover energy, so I thought about writing here. I don't know if I'll do it regularly but it feels pretty refreshing. Better than watching youtube and scrolling through social media.

I need to decide what to do now. I could draw for my tumblr art account, there's this person called windswept-phoenix that always likes my drawings. It always puts a smile on my face, If you read this like ever, I appreciate you a lot and hope you are having a wonderful life.

I had the idea of making a pmd demake in pico8. Just the dungeons, 16x16 sprites and stuff. My problem is that I have so many ideas all of the time I don't have the time to make any of them.

One other idea I had was making a youtube or tiktok channel where I convinced people to stop watching youtube shorts. The idea would be to make videos showcasing cool stuff you can do on the internet with a link so they click off the website and do something else. Youtube and social media in general have harmed my lifestyle so much as a person with ADHD, I want to help other people to leave their toxic grasp and have a happier life.

Anyways, I have to decide what to draw. I think I'll start by making a small drawing for my personal telegram sticker pack. Then I'll try my hand at some coloring techniques I want to do, and maybe draw some little guys.

Wednesday 6

22:29

Hello! It's me, ya boi. I have like one minute to write before bedtime. But I wanted to say that I'm on a roll, I've been practicing music every day for the last 4 days and I feel great about it! I need to check when was the last time I updated the number here to figure out how many sessions I've done.

I'll update it shortly.

Friday 8

21:51

I just finished watching a video by Alexander Avila called Hannah Montana's Guide to Life Under Capitalism. In it he talked about a ton of stuff, but at the end he talked about something he called "the excess". The uncategorizable space between the categories that we use to understand reality.

Got me thinking that there are things about myself I don't know how to categorize. My sexuality for example, I consider myself as demisexual grayromantic, but that's just the label that's closer to how I feel. In reality I really don't know how to explain it.

So I tried to draw the excess within myself, like a representation of the glimpses of what I feel I am. And this is what I got.

I chose gold to represent warmth and light. I feel like there's this incredibly warmth inside and I want to share it with people.

I also represented the excess without many features because I don't really know them. They are uncategorizable, I don't think they would have a gender or facial features or anything. They do have a warm gaze and long hair, I don't know how long, but long compared to my hair.

I guess the hair gives me the sense of freedom, using as much space as there is. Filling it with their aura.

I would like to think some of this excess comes out through me. How I talk, how I act, how I make others feel. I hope that through my art other people can feel it too.

Sunday 10

11:37

I just cleaned my keyboard while listening to niko, the minecraft youtube channel guy. I've been thinking I do have a lot of things I know that I would like to share. So I could do that while I draw or paint on the weekends.

For the last two weeks I've been drawing on the weekends and posting my drawings on tumblr. And its pretty cool when on weekdays I look at my phone near 12:00 and see the reactions of people. I've noticed the classic artist trend on social media though. Sometimes you make something you're really proud of and no one sees it.

I also had this moment near the middle of the week where I tried to design a dnd character and felt like it was too low quality for my art account. My art account is mainly pokemon themed and that sketch didn't fit it. Even though that's not why I use that account to begin with.

I don't post on my art account for the likes, I do it because I want to feel I'm building something... That kinda means I'm actually doing it for the likes... for attention. I don't know what I want.

I don't want to only draw pokemon, I want to also draw other stuff too. But what do I want from my art account? Do I want to grow it as big as it can be? Do I want to make it a public art archive that people can see?

That last one feels nice, treating it like an art archive. It also makes more sense, but if that's my art archive... what about the rest? I mean, if that's the place where I archive my drawings, what about the games I make and the music I play and everything else.

I guess that's what this website is for. This means I have to make space here to put all of that. I think I'll do that for an hour, work on my webbed site.

Sunday 17

10:44

A lot of things have happened during the week. But I think I don't want to talk about the negative stuff anymore. I vented a lot to my friends the last couple of days, and I think I'm better now.

I'll make a blogpost about the most deep stuff I've been thinking.

One of my drawings got noticed by a lot of people on tumblr. And people have been really nice, they have reblogged it with really nice hashtags. I think they were two people who did that, they made me so happy I wanted to cry. It made me felt seen, I guess, really nice feeling.

Today I have to prepare a dnd session and also run it. It's still early in the morning so I think I have time. I have a lot of fun working on that campaign, but it's such a big time commitment.

I think the campaign will end on september assuming we play twice a month. That means like 11 more sessions, after that I'll take an indefinite hiatus. It takes like 6 hours every two weeks to do, 3 hours of preparation and 3 hours of session.

Also have to remember to leave after the session and not stay in the discord. I always get super tired after the sessions and as an introverted I need to walk away to recover. I think I'll order takeout for lunch too, so I have some leftovers to eat after the session.

Yeah, that sounds nice.

Saturday 23

17:23

Hello again. It has been a pretty intense week, and I guess most of my weeks will be this way now that I have a fulltime job.

I played some tf2 today, tried out the buffalo steak sandvich for the mobility. It was fun, I threw it every chance I had to my teammates. Getting from spawn to the frontline was faster also, I think I still have to play more to understand the combo.

I also went to the supermarket, bought some lettuce, cheese, ham, mayo and bread so I can make sandwiches. My idea is to eat them for lunch once a week so I can skip lunch at work. And by that I mean go eat to a park nearby, and write my thoughts as a meditating activity.

Right now I'm doing a trick I invented a couple of weeks ago I think. It's called "1 hour, 1 task", basically at the beginning of every hour I do some responsibility I have. Like washing the dishes, mopping, and stuff; and then the rest of the hour is free.

It's working ok I guess, I still have a lot to do today. I have to write my expenses of the week (I have the vouchers next to me), wash my clothes, check my mail and practice music. That's it I think, for now I still have like half an hour of free time.

I could just practice music now, while listening to Niko, they're doing a stream right now. Nah, I'm tired, I need to recover energy to go wash my clothes later. Now what to do... I guess I'll... I'll see if I can do something for this webbed site.

18:15

Alright, I finished writing my expenses. I also created a cron that backs up the guestbook data every day and cancelled a twitch suscription of a streamer I no longer watch. I should do that for patreon too I guess, I'm gonna do that now...

Just finished doing that. Those should be like $15 a month I have now, I can spend them on takeout or other stuff. I still have some time on my hands, I guess I'll check out tumblr and then surf the web for a little while.

Sunday 31

12:29

Last day of March. This months has been a wild ride, but it ended with a wonderful weekend. I went to a friend's birthday party and met with some friends I haven't seen in a long time.

I was so excited, I really didn't know how much I missed them until I saw them. I did miss-gendered like 3 people in that birthday party, so that's something I have to work on. All of them are super nice people too, next time I want to talk to them more.

Yesterday I also went to a medieval fair with some friends. It was really fun, I bought a lot of cool things! I got some stickers of bee-cats, some candle boxes that project shadows in the walls (the shadows are of lotus flowers), a kitsune mask and some keychains for some friends.

Today I still have to prepare and run a dnd session. I'll send a reminder right now to see if the party is down...

Just sent it, none of them are online but I'll prepare it anyways just in case. Worst case scenarion the session is next week and that's already done.

I want to draw today, there's only one page left on my sketchbook, so the preassure is on. I want to draw some stickers for my personal telegram sticker set, and a colored illustration for the last page of my sketchbook. I think I'll just use pencils for that, no markers or ink.

I need to check if I have an empty sketchbook... found one! Nice, now I can draw in during lunch breaks at work next week.

I also updated the script I use to generate this website. Now I can import html from different files! I'll take some time now to refactor some things like the status cafe section and stuff.

An 88x31 button graphic with 'Web 14' written on it and featuring a headshot drawing of an anthropomorphic panda girl. Status Cafe